Category Archives: Quotation
funny medical quotes
From the Daily Mail :-
‘Choking patients can now be incubated to maintain their airwaves!’
Advert in the BMJ :-
FOR SALE : Real bone half-skeleton, in better condition than seller. £250.
Seen in the BBC canteen in Manchester :-
In the interests of hygiene, please use tongues when picking up your baked potatoes.
From an article on stomach trouble :-
‘Doctors are beginning to accept that stomach ulcers are infectious. They are caused by a bug called Helicopter’.
From More! :-
‘Your chance of catching an STD during your period is greater, because the blood changes the PhD level in the vagina’.
laughter quotes collections
‘Laughter Quotation’
The best blush to use is laughter: It puts roses in your cheeks and in your soul.
- Linda Knight
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
- Arnold Glasow
Laughter is the most healthful exertion.
- Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland
Laughter is part of the human survival kit.
- David Nathan
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-Cummings
He who laughs, lasts.
-Victor Borge
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Edison
Laughter is the language of the Gods
- Russ Dudley.
Friendship: a building contract you sign with laughter and break with tears
- Unknown
Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either.
Medical quotations
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. ~Cicero
My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I’m ashamed of what I think of doctors in general. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated. ~Plato
Body and soul cannot be separated for purposes of treatment, for they are one and indivisible. Sick minds must be healed as well as sick bodies. ~C. Jeff Miller
In the sick room, ten cents’ worth of human understanding equals ten dollars’ worth of medical science. ~Martin H. Fischer
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. ~Author Unknown
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. ~Robert Burton
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. ~James H. Boren
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier’s office. ~Francis O’Walsh
Did God who gave us flowers and trees,
Also provide the allergies?
~E.Y. Harburg, “A Nose Is a Nose Is a Nose,” 1965
I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~Bill Walton
It is a wise mans part, rather to avoid sickness, than to wishe for medicines. ~Thomas More, Utopia [sic]
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor’s bill an’ ye niver can read his purscription. ~Finley Peter Dunne
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax – tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough. ~Pearl Williams
To array a man’s will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. ~Henry Ward Beecher
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. ~Martin H. Fischer
Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit – Life!
~Emily Dickinson
It is a good thing for a physician to have prematurely grey hair and itching piles. The first makes him appear to know more than he does, and the second gives him an expression of concern which the patient interprets as being on his behalf. ~A. Benson Cannon
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. ~Author Unknown
One thousand Americans stop smoking every day – by dying. ~Author Unknown
A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. ~Voltaire
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. ~Martin H. Fischer
